my life with depression.com

it’s been a week since my FRENCHIE has been here in san francisco. it’s been great! this weekend, he and i went and attended pride weekend - gay/lesbian pride. that was a lot of fun. it was his first time to taste a bbq chicken on a stick. i wonder if they have those at other types of fairs in other parts of the country. he didn’t want any at first, but after tasting it, he no longer wanted to share. so cute.

there’s nothing like having my FRENCHIE. what guy would just want to go to the berkeley marina, make me walk hella far with slip on shoes and a blanket wrapped around me ’cause it’s hella cold JUST to watch the sunset AND THEN walk back to the car??? who would be inspired enough but a frenchie.

what guy but a frenchie would spend more than 20 minutes on actual - YES not fake foreplay? you tell me … cause i’d have to say that it has to only be a frenchie. [i think i’m going to eat lunch at the restaurant downstairs and finish typing…] NOT DONE YET

ok, i’ve just ordered.

it was so weird though. there was a moment when he and i were shopping when i swear i saw my ex-boyfriend TODDY-bear. he was irish and everyone thought he resembled tom cruise. i’d have to say the deep set eyes and the nose and the face shape and the lips, but other than that, i wouldn’t have thought so. so anyways, i thought i saw him in my FRENCHIE. i wasn’t wearing my glasses, but i just love love LOVE deep set eyes! TODDY-bear wasn’t as smart as my FRENCHIE and i think that boredom helped to make me not interested. BUT i do have to say that if there ever was the nicest to me, it would have to be TODDY-bear.

another thing that only a frenchie can do is mis-understand your “fifth” — meet me on fifth street at market. i even said cinq - 5 in french, but no. there was a misunderstanding and i got frustrated. then when he and i went to my french talking group, i noticed that i never get to practice my french with him while we always speak in english. i got all emotional and thought about breaking it off and does everything revolve around him and none around me … and maybe i should expand my horizons and blah blah blah … i drank during my lessons last night. i loved him after the alcohol disappeared. he says he hates it when i get emotional when i drink! he’s so patient with me.

he currently offers no long term relationship/life stability, he offers no financial stability that girls look for; but let me tell you, he is sooo supportive and so positive and so patient and so loving and so affectionate that it doesn’t matter right now. right now, i need the latter over the former. i don’t know how long i won’t need the former, but for now they are not the most important like they are right now for other girls.

a part of me wonders if i’m missing out on meeting that person who can give me and be all of that when i’m hanging around with my FRENCHIE. i’m not trying to be negative about what i have with him. you have to admit that a 9 year age difference is a big thing! especially when I AM the older one. especially when he lives in paris. especially when he has 6 more years of residency to do. especially when he still wants to do his PhD — most likely paris. especially when i’m trying to start a business out in this part of the world.

i mean, what happens when i want more intimacy than what he — who is so far away — can give? well, i guess for now, i will just enjoy our time and not think about that. but after this summer, the big decision will be made by the two of us and i guess that’s when i will have to think about it more.

how is my sex life? i’d have to say that’s it’s much improved.

no.

everyday isn’t ‘much improved’ …

it’s ‘GREATLY’ improved!

i love this brand of french preservatif: www.manix.net YOU HAVE TO GO TO THIS LINK! and select OUI —