my life with depression.com

today, my career counselor and i did the personal values clarification part of my thing. it’s broken down into three sections:

1. individual self
2. relationship self
3. lifework self

well, first let me just say that i was told that i am not going through a mid-life crisis. she said that in your late 20’s to early 30’s, people usually go through a transitional period and i’m going through mine.

THESE ARE MY NEEDS TO FEEL FULFILLED:

1. i want to be authentic
2. i want to be real
3. i want congruency in my life meaning that i want my exterior to reflect my interior self.
4. no fakeness where i have to put an effort into being something i’m not
5. i want to be authentic on the soul level
6. i want to have a REAL connection - mental connection with my partner
7. i want to make a positive impact on people’s lives through my presence, knowledge and care. through my heart and brain.
8. she also said that she’s observed that i have a real passion for learning.

so there you have it. that’s me in simple short phrases. i need a life that will allow me the list above. nope. change that. i WANT a life like that.

i’m suppose to read a book called life transitions: making sense of life transitions by bill bridges. i couldn’t find it in the system at the local barnes and noble. diane, my counselor said that it’s an easy read.

i really feel like i’m moving forward. i feel like things are getting done. i’m so satisfied with my decision to hire her. what’s nice to is that she’s also a therapist. she did say that the whole personality thing shouldn’t be 100% when looking at a relationship because feelings are also involved and it’s not black and white. my therapist karen told me this yesterday too. that’s actually my next post - kinda. and since i’m on a roll, i’m posting again!

also, my counselor asked me to clarify what i meant when i said that i like to give smiles. i guess i never really thought about. i guess what i meant is that i want people’s interactions with me to be a positive one. i kinda likened it to the saying that when you have sex without a condom. it’s like you’re having sex with the whole world. so if one person gets a smile from their interaction with me, that means that i might have affected multiple people’s day in a positive way! is that naive? it can’t be because we don’t live in silos.

it’s funny cause i was talking with the owner of the mail shop where i have a box and he was totally able to understand where i’m coming from. though i didn’t ask how old he was, he to me seemed like he could be late 30’s early 40’s? anyways, it took him one whole year to find himself and to find what’s important to him. now he’s purchased a franchise and feels happy. he did say that i am going to have to balance the amount of money i need with finding “fulfillment”. i’m not quite there yet and told him that i still needed to make a certain amount. so i’ll see him in about a month to give him an update as to whether i would be able to accept making less. it’s always easy going up in lifestyle than it is going down. at least right now it is for me. but i guess that’s part of the journey.

oh, two more things that i remember from my mailbox store conversation. the man thought that i was running around way too much whenever he saw me and that i was always on the go go go!

i had an awesome wednesday! i was productive and checked off some of the tasks that i had to do and i am feeling good about what i had to hear from my career counselor.