my life with depression.com

i had a recent “relationship” conversation with my aquaintance karen and the topic got on to needing a person versus wanting a person in your life. she explained to me that she babysat her neice the weekend before. she was the one taking care of the toddler. feeding her, bathing her … so on and so forth. this is suppose to be an example of need. the toddler needs karen. the toddler is getting everything she needs from karen.

although karen satisfies all of the baby’s needs, why is it then that when mom comes home, the toddler forgets about karen and heads straight to mom . that’s the example of want. no one else can fulfill whatever it is the toddler gets from his/her mom.

i understood the concept during the conversation, but lost it as i dug deeper into it. a week later, i search for the meaning of want and need. the dictionary definitions make the two almost interchangable. here is what i’ve come up with for a definition of want vs. need:

* need = anyone can fulfull the need. the need for company can be fulfilled by anyone.

* want = want is a choice. you choose a person as a companion, to give you affection, to validate you, to fulfill your emotional needs…. these needs cannot be just filled by anyone.