my life with depression.com

victim n.

1. One who is harmed or killed by another: a victim of a mugging.
2. A living creature slain and offered as a sacrifice during a religious rite.
3. One who is harmed by or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency, or condition: victims of war.
4. A person who suffers injury, loss, or death as a result of a voluntary undertaking: You are a victim of your own scheming.
5. A person who is tricked, swindled, or taken advantage of: the victim of a cruel hoax.

I’ve played the victim in many things that were not pleasant. It’s just easier. It’s easier to put the blame on someone or something else. Although there are times when we are indeed victims, the usual practice is the denial of our part in things.

Taking credit gives one so much more power; power over situations and also power over one’s self.

In my search for who I am, I’ve realized that through out my life, I have worried and stressed and tried to change exterior forces. Forces that I have no control over. I tried to “fix” the things that I couldn’t. So in my attempt to gain control over exterior forces in my life, I become drained and I give up, playing the victim of the situation or relationship.

In many of those situations or relationships, the events that ensued were allowed by me. I had and still have choices. The choice of confronting a problem or the choice of removing myself from a situation are things that I can do and things that I should do. By not doing so makes me a victim.

Understanding that I have to take credit for my part allows me to uncover and understand why things were allowed to happen. With this understanding and by taking action, I no longer become the victim.